And It Pours

Currently playing:
"With A Little Help From My Friends" by The Beatles

Things had been very crazy lately.
I almost gave up breathing.
But still,
I managed to survive grasping for air.
I asked for a rain but I got stormed.
I was really scared.
The fear of mortality sucked me whole.
When things get tough your only wish is to die,
as if you're brave enough to face death.
But when death is threating your loved ones,
you just can't imagine how scary it is.
My spiritual adviser told me that everytime we wish we're dead we're cursing our loved ones at the same time.
That's why,
be always careful what you wish for and you might get it,
if not,
the people you love will.
Knock on the wood three times.
Now,
I wish for life.
More life.

How the past few days changed my outlook in life?
Here's what really happened.

My Kanojo bestfriend was in hysteria when she broke the news that her brother was rushed to the hospital due to dengue fever.
Thanks God he's all fine now.

Few days later,
my aunt told me that mom's got a colon cancer and she's been keeping this for more than a year now.
I was so shocked that my eyes stiffed I couldn't even shed a tear.
We're still waiting for the final diagnosis.
I'm still in denial.
I just couldn't accept it that she'll be sick with such illness.
She's the most unbreakable woman in this world.
I'm still praying for some miracles.

And last week,
my closest uncle was sent to OR to have his appendix removed
(he just got out today and he's already recovering).
I couldn't say anything more.
Things were getting hiatus back home,
there are a lot of things that my family and my friends had gone through,
and I just can't tell what's happening with me here in Cebu.
T's the most dramatic episode of my life.
I felt helpless,
and worthless.
I can't even help them right now.
It was the only time when I asked for God's help again.
And tried to keep it all to myself.

Again,
God proved to me that I'm His beloved spoiled child.
And He had my ears once again.
Lessons were learned and relived.
Now,
I see sunshine.