Mortifying Moments

Lipstick Writings on the Wall 15
April 28, 2008

Currently playing: "Neighborhood" by Vonda Shepard

I spent my restdays in a solitary confinement.
No SEBs.
I told you,
I can control the urges.

No outings.
Summer's over for me and rainy days' starting.
No night-outs.
What is it?

It was my choice and the main reason behind's that it's the days of the "hanging moments"
-again.

But it was a blissful weekend.
I got a lot of sleep until my head hurts.
I was like bed-ridden.
Lazied up.
So damned lazy I was sprawling half-naked on the floor,
the matress with its bedcover all over the floor,
pillows on every corner of my little room.

Lying,
watching the sky turns into gray,
blue and black,
or say,
staring through my window at the clouds turning into nimbus,
cirrus,
stratus and cumulus.
Door and windows open,
I slept the entire day soaked in my own sweat.
Lying naked,
I slept the entire night exposed to the fog.
I woke up with my gums still swelling and an aching body.

Exchanged SMS with MyBigMac on Saturday night.
Finally,
he greeted me a "Belated Happy Birthday",
so very late it no longer make sense.
The reason that he forgot about it:
he's in the middle of a training of becoming a Red Cross Lifeguard,
I said "it's okay" and ended the sentence on my end with "asshole!"
I consoled myself fantasizing making love with the rest of his team in the near future.
I reminded him that it's his birthday next next week incase I'll be able to pretend that I'll forget it as a form of revenge,
but,
it will make no sense to him either.
He asked how's the goddess.
I said the goddess missed him so much.
I asked how's the BigMac.
The BigMac's losing weight with toned biceps and triceps while I'm bloating out here with my self-esteem gone into the trash.
Finally,
we ended up the sweet-nothings it's not really even sweet,
him saying his usual closing spiel GTCGB
(goodnight,
take care,
God bless)
and I said "go to...
(hell!
No.
I can't say that.)
sleep.