Mortifying Moments 2

Lipstick Writings on the Wall 16
April 29, 2008

Currently playing: "Shark's Can't Sleep" by Tracy Bonham

My leaves has been approved but I'm working.
Received an email from the WorkForceTeam asking me to retract all the filed leaves or I won't get paid even if I show up to work.
It's like commiting a big sin if you appear on work while your leave has been approved.
And you'd feel guilty if you won't retract the approved leaves aside from the guilt that the WFT agent would instill on you reminding you that it should have been allocated to the agents who deserve it.
So I don't deserve it if I'll just show up because I feel like I just want to.
And even if I'll show up and I won't get paid then I have to blame myself.
Crap!
I promised not to go on details here about how my work sucks.

My handler endorsed me to the directorate to apply as a double-agent.
I told my handler that I can't stand in front of the panel for the interview.
I'm not good in interviews,
I'd always screw up in interviews.
I have the tendency to eat up my words.
I tend not to say what's really on my mind.
I have the hard time collecting my thoughts on the hotseat.
I lost words.
I get really really lost.
My handler insisted to give it a try since I have good statistical records and he knows that it's always been my dream becoming a double-agent.
He advised me to run some "interview scenes" so I can at least rehearse my lines.

So I was thinking:

Panel 1: How are you feeling today?

Me: Nervous.

Panel 2: Why?

Me: I'm not good in interviews.

Panel 3: Why?

Me: I hate interviews.

Panel 4: Why?

Me: (Because I'm always asked to answer questions such as "Why?") I'm not really good on this specially when I'm sober.

Panel 5: Why?

Me: I'm disturbed.
May I go out?