Currently playing: "Glycerine" by Bush
Now reading:
TFJD 3's Starlet Letters on Chapter 10
-Masked Lover
JD's taking hormonal in replacement of the chinese herbs.
His hair almost reached his shoulders and he never failed to condition it for the past few weeks.
He's getting used with his diet which almost suit him back to his old 29" pants.
JD's almost back in the spotlight.
But he's bound to be caught on someone else's trap.
It's fashion on the backtrack,
and passion with some backstabbing.
Heeewww!!!
I'm so excited on my restdays!
from the writer of: the chronicles of a third sex goddess, the starlet letters, lipstick writings on the wall, the goddess scriptures, the diva notes, and the queerest travel.
Saturday, May 31, 2008
Friday, May 30, 2008
On the Same Wavelength
Currently playing: "Unwell" by Matchbox Twenty
Here are some poetries from my crashed crushes, Lionel and Dax. I'm posting these with Lionel's permission:
Lionel's:
me ,you and my medication
I love your sweet kisses
and the soft touch of your hands
and the smile thats always on your face
while we're walking through the sand
I love the cool night air
and the breeze thats from the sea
the beauty of the ocean
encourages every word
while the beauty of the night
show the whitness of the bird
now walking through the sand
doesn't mean much anymore
because with out you in my arms
the beauty is drowned beneath the shore
***
Eyes Watering
I dont know
Blue for miles
Shimmering from the orb of light
Leaving a mark in the water.
My body lays still on the warmth of the ground
The sun beats on my front.
Walking through the sand
Like there was no where I needed to go,
Nice and slow.
Waves spill over my feet
I begin to shake from chills.
I walk leaving an imprint of me behind
For the next person to walk where I did.
Perhaps, the waves will get there before they do.
The sun sets in the background
I close my eyes to soak up the moment
And it sets again
But this time behind closed eyes.
As I lay I still feel the waves fall around me.
***
Dax:
On my knees, I'll ask
Last chance for one last dance
'Cause with you, I'd withstand
All of hell to hold your hand
-Nickelback-
There is something in my past that I desperately tried to run away from. And this morning, it caught up on me.
It was September of last year when you told me NO, in response to my inquiry if there was/will ever be a time, even in its smallest measurement, that you would feel the same way for me. One word was it all it took to get my dreams to take on a terminal nose dive.
In the loose nights, when I had nothing better to do than dream of what could have been and with a handful of dough to spare for beer, I found myself amongst friends who were more than willing to listen to me banter . And so I spoke of how it was your loss, when, in reality, the loss I was really talking about was nobody else's but mine. I spoke of how I never really needed you. Of how i hated you. But I hated nobody other than msyelf.
There was a time when I felt mad at you, yes..that much I'm willing to admit. I thought it was easier to be angry than to sit around wondering why you could not love me back. People saw that as an unmanly, gutless way of dealing with things when, in fact, it was just nothing but a painful resignation to the reality that things could never be. And I didnt quite know how to deal with it.
I was clueless. I was a wandering mess. I go to bed hoping that tomorrow would be the day. I told myself all sorts of lies and I allowed myself to dream, hoping against hope that come morning, they will all be true. And so I woke up each day, feeling more exhausted than I was the night before. My days became a huge routine of hopes and disappointments. I spent them as I spent every day of my life, desperately wishing until I found myself in a dark cell, waiting for something that was and could never be there.
So I ran away, if only to save what was left of my sanity. And for the first time, I was able to look at anybody straight into their eyes and tell them that I'm alright.
I was alright. Until this morning.
The thing that I sought freedom from has caught up on me, probably because I let it. I'm finding myself going back to that dark cell, spending my days in huge routines of desperate hopes and lamentable phases of solitude. I tried to run away. God knows I did but there are just times when I love you so much, I can hardly stand it.
This is a game I know I could never win. But for the first time in my life, I dont mind being on the losing end of things because after I've looked past the pain, the rejection and the anger that festered from it, I begin to see you for who you really are- the person I'd withstand all of hell just to hold hands with. They asked me why I believe in you. This is what I told them.
I love her. And sometimes, it's that simple.
Here are some poetries from my crashed crushes, Lionel and Dax. I'm posting these with Lionel's permission:
Lionel's:
me ,you and my medication
I love your sweet kisses
and the soft touch of your hands
and the smile thats always on your face
while we're walking through the sand
I love the cool night air
and the breeze thats from the sea
the beauty of the ocean
encourages every word
while the beauty of the night
show the whitness of the bird
now walking through the sand
doesn't mean much anymore
because with out you in my arms
the beauty is drowned beneath the shore
***
Eyes Watering
I dont know
Blue for miles
Shimmering from the orb of light
Leaving a mark in the water.
My body lays still on the warmth of the ground
The sun beats on my front.
Walking through the sand
Like there was no where I needed to go,
Nice and slow.
Waves spill over my feet
I begin to shake from chills.
I walk leaving an imprint of me behind
For the next person to walk where I did.
Perhaps, the waves will get there before they do.
The sun sets in the background
I close my eyes to soak up the moment
And it sets again
But this time behind closed eyes.
As I lay I still feel the waves fall around me.
***
Dax:
On my knees, I'll ask
Last chance for one last dance
'Cause with you, I'd withstand
All of hell to hold your hand
-Nickelback-
There is something in my past that I desperately tried to run away from. And this morning, it caught up on me.
It was September of last year when you told me NO, in response to my inquiry if there was/will ever be a time, even in its smallest measurement, that you would feel the same way for me. One word was it all it took to get my dreams to take on a terminal nose dive.
In the loose nights, when I had nothing better to do than dream of what could have been and with a handful of dough to spare for beer, I found myself amongst friends who were more than willing to listen to me banter . And so I spoke of how it was your loss, when, in reality, the loss I was really talking about was nobody else's but mine. I spoke of how I never really needed you. Of how i hated you. But I hated nobody other than msyelf.
There was a time when I felt mad at you, yes..that much I'm willing to admit. I thought it was easier to be angry than to sit around wondering why you could not love me back. People saw that as an unmanly, gutless way of dealing with things when, in fact, it was just nothing but a painful resignation to the reality that things could never be. And I didnt quite know how to deal with it.
I was clueless. I was a wandering mess. I go to bed hoping that tomorrow would be the day. I told myself all sorts of lies and I allowed myself to dream, hoping against hope that come morning, they will all be true. And so I woke up each day, feeling more exhausted than I was the night before. My days became a huge routine of hopes and disappointments. I spent them as I spent every day of my life, desperately wishing until I found myself in a dark cell, waiting for something that was and could never be there.
So I ran away, if only to save what was left of my sanity. And for the first time, I was able to look at anybody straight into their eyes and tell them that I'm alright.
I was alright. Until this morning.
The thing that I sought freedom from has caught up on me, probably because I let it. I'm finding myself going back to that dark cell, spending my days in huge routines of desperate hopes and lamentable phases of solitude. I tried to run away. God knows I did but there are just times when I love you so much, I can hardly stand it.
This is a game I know I could never win. But for the first time in my life, I dont mind being on the losing end of things because after I've looked past the pain, the rejection and the anger that festered from it, I begin to see you for who you really are- the person I'd withstand all of hell just to hold hands with. They asked me why I believe in you. This is what I told them.
I love her. And sometimes, it's that simple.
Midnight Pick-up
Currently playing: "Bent" by Matchbox Twenty
Luther's in the city.
He asked me to bring him to Cebu's finest restaurants but we went out past ten in the evening and all the best resto I've known were already closed,
he's got another place in mind
-Larsians.
So we ended up in Larsian's then we ate muffins and had chilled blends in Coffee Dreams afterwards.
I walked him to his hotel a few blocks away from my place.
It's past one in the morning and I nervously took the road alone.
A drunk called out from the dark and I doubled my speed.
Suddenly,
a car keeps on chasing me on the sidewalk.
I never looked at the driver's seat.
It was too scary for an idea of a midnight pick-up.
The windows opened,
it was the Master Bulldog.
Thanks God!
The Master Bulldog dropped me home safely.
Luther's in the city.
He asked me to bring him to Cebu's finest restaurants but we went out past ten in the evening and all the best resto I've known were already closed,
he's got another place in mind
-Larsians.
So we ended up in Larsian's then we ate muffins and had chilled blends in Coffee Dreams afterwards.
I walked him to his hotel a few blocks away from my place.
It's past one in the morning and I nervously took the road alone.
A drunk called out from the dark and I doubled my speed.
Suddenly,
a car keeps on chasing me on the sidewalk.
I never looked at the driver's seat.
It was too scary for an idea of a midnight pick-up.
The windows opened,
it was the Master Bulldog.
Thanks God!
The Master Bulldog dropped me home safely.
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
One Sweet Day
Currently playing: "One Sweet Day" by Mariah Carey feat. Boyz II Men
For almost a year,
I've been doing a google search of Adam and the returns creeps me from time to time:
(Hawaii's briefs)
Crash victim's name released
The medical examiner's office yesterday identified the 'Ewa Beach man killed Wednesday in a car crash on Lanikuhana Avenue in Mililani as Adam Twiggs, 26. Twiggs was driving a 2002 Acura that veered off the roadway and struck a tree at 4:59 a.m. He was pronounced dead at Wahiawa General Hospital at 5:52 a.m.
An autopsy found Twiggs died from head injuries from the accident.
I was so scared to confirm if it was really the Adam that I've known in highschool until I found his tribute account in myspace,
with his pics.
It was Adam who introduced Boyz II Men to me,
we'd do "One Sweet Day" and he'd ask me to do Mariah's line.
Hhhhssssshhhh...
I'm saddened.
I still don't know what to say to him.
For almost a year,
I've been doing a google search of Adam and the returns creeps me from time to time:
(Hawaii's briefs)
Crash victim's name released
The medical examiner's office yesterday identified the 'Ewa Beach man killed Wednesday in a car crash on Lanikuhana Avenue in Mililani as Adam Twiggs, 26. Twiggs was driving a 2002 Acura that veered off the roadway and struck a tree at 4:59 a.m. He was pronounced dead at Wahiawa General Hospital at 5:52 a.m.
An autopsy found Twiggs died from head injuries from the accident.
I was so scared to confirm if it was really the Adam that I've known in highschool until I found his tribute account in myspace,
with his pics.
It was Adam who introduced Boyz II Men to me,
we'd do "One Sweet Day" and he'd ask me to do Mariah's line.
Hhhhssssshhhh...
I'm saddened.
I still don't know what to say to him.
Scribbling
Currently playing: "Always Be My Baby" by David Cook
Not so good news:
We're moved to 12 noon to 9:00 pm shift starting tomorrow.
It only means one thing,
I will no longer see The Ervin Legend.
Aaaaarrrrggghhhh!!!
Not so good news:
We're moved to 12 noon to 9:00 pm shift starting tomorrow.
It only means one thing,
I will no longer see The Ervin Legend.
Aaaaarrrrggghhhh!!!
Saturday, May 17, 2008
Yusuke Uchida and His Baseball Bat
Currently playing: "Candyman" by Christina Aguilera
That's namedropping.
Gorgeously handsome.
Filthy rich.
Highly intellectual,
and very kind.
He's our crush from college.
He's closest local celebrity resemblance is Borgy Manotoc,
and don't ask me why we drool over him.
He is the school founder's grandchild.
He studied abroad and joined the baseball league.
His love of the game inspires him in founding Davao's first baseball team.
This is not about baseball,
I don't know anything about the game until watching Madonna in "A League of Their Own".
I was Madonna.
Gaahhhn!
Going back to Yusuke.
According to him,
he already met me when I was in freshmen and he just finished junior high at that time visiting the country to attend the school's festival.
My recollection only shows a blurry picture of him, young and chubby.
2 years later,
on the same occassion,
he wore suite and the highschool students were giggling like The Beatles fans.
I am not fond of commodities but when I saw him in the middle of the hording fans,
I started to salivate on his presence,
nonstop.
The festival's program ended with the announcement of the organization of Datu Uchida Development Foundation for Sports,
specifically baseball.
And as part of the ceremony,
the Japanese displayed the donated baseball equipments,
and Yusuke displayed more of himself.
He took off his suite,
then the children started screaming.
He wore Rawlings on his hand and picked up the ball,
and the ground started to shake.
He then threw the ball like a pro,
and the damn ball went into my direction.
And there was silence.
The people in the field was gone.
And the ball was soaring in slow motion.
I was not hit by the ball like what you're thinking.
I was just exaggerating.
From then on,
I would effortly catch his attention everytime he visits the school.
I'm a big flirt,
and I got all the support from my friends.
We won't just say "Hi" to him,
we'd say,
"Oh my gahd...
Yusuke-kun...
Konnichiwa!!!"
And he would smile like a shy guy.
There was a time when we'd take our camera phones out and mob him like a star,
discreetly.
And we would swear to his late grandma's statue that we will take good care of him.
And then, one day...
That's namedropping.
Gorgeously handsome.
Filthy rich.
Highly intellectual,
and very kind.
He's our crush from college.
He's closest local celebrity resemblance is Borgy Manotoc,
and don't ask me why we drool over him.
He is the school founder's grandchild.
He studied abroad and joined the baseball league.
His love of the game inspires him in founding Davao's first baseball team.
This is not about baseball,
I don't know anything about the game until watching Madonna in "A League of Their Own".
I was Madonna.
Gaahhhn!
Going back to Yusuke.
According to him,
he already met me when I was in freshmen and he just finished junior high at that time visiting the country to attend the school's festival.
My recollection only shows a blurry picture of him, young and chubby.
2 years later,
on the same occassion,
he wore suite and the highschool students were giggling like The Beatles fans.
I am not fond of commodities but when I saw him in the middle of the hording fans,
I started to salivate on his presence,
nonstop.
The festival's program ended with the announcement of the organization of Datu Uchida Development Foundation for Sports,
specifically baseball.
And as part of the ceremony,
the Japanese displayed the donated baseball equipments,
and Yusuke displayed more of himself.
He took off his suite,
then the children started screaming.
He wore Rawlings on his hand and picked up the ball,
and the ground started to shake.
He then threw the ball like a pro,
and the damn ball went into my direction.
And there was silence.
The people in the field was gone.
And the ball was soaring in slow motion.
I was not hit by the ball like what you're thinking.
I was just exaggerating.
From then on,
I would effortly catch his attention everytime he visits the school.
I'm a big flirt,
and I got all the support from my friends.
We won't just say "Hi" to him,
we'd say,
"Oh my gahd...
Yusuke-kun...
Konnichiwa!!!"
And he would smile like a shy guy.
There was a time when we'd take our camera phones out and mob him like a star,
discreetly.
And we would swear to his late grandma's statue that we will take good care of him.
And then, one day...
Meeka Bells
Currently playing: "Sleep" by My Chemical Romance
There's only one thing that I always want to do
-sleeping.
Next is to make love and then
-sleep.
Watch dvd and wait until I fall
-asleep.
And now,
I'm on this shift when I'm supposed to be
-sleeping.
Part of my brain always say
-sleep!
And the rest is sound
-asleep.
There's only one thing that I always want to do
-sleeping.
Next is to make love and then
-sleep.
Watch dvd and wait until I fall
-asleep.
And now,
I'm on this shift when I'm supposed to be
-sleeping.
Part of my brain always say
-sleep!
And the rest is sound
-asleep.
Nega Star
Currently playing: "Kiss of Life" by Sade
It's official.
I'll be working as a normal individual for the next 4 weeks.
I hate it!
It's official.
I'll be working as a normal individual for the next 4 weeks.
I hate it!
Friday, May 16, 2008
Sleeping with...
Currently playing: "Like a Tattoo" by Sade
Eyes that could kill me in one glance.
Lips that speak words it will knock me off.
A body that smells Safeguard soap.
Perfectly toned legs.
Big hands.
And I'm all set!
Eyes that could kill me in one glance.
Lips that speak words it will knock me off.
A body that smells Safeguard soap.
Perfectly toned legs.
Big hands.
And I'm all set!
Thursday, May 15, 2008
The Ervin Legend: Yesterday, Today and Tomorrow
Currently playing: "Whatta Man" by Salt N Pepa
It seems that my craziness over The Ervin Legend is totally eccentric
-I'm seeing him everywhere and all the time.
I'm inlove with the idea of loving him.
Tuvmah!
Yesterday:
I was looking for The Ervin Legend when I arrived in the office,
he was not in his station.
The team was advised to seat on the last row,
and The Ervin Legend was sitting next to my station.
He's on the phone with someone I don't care who,
I was all knee-knocked off.
Today:
I can no longer help myself drooling over this man.
Our eyes met in the window pane.
As usual,
he stares at me,
I don't care if he stares at me with anger or what kind of emotion attached on his eyes,
at least he does stare at me,
all the time.
Tomorrow:
It's his restday.
I won't be seeing him for the next 4 days.
Ugh!
He's gonna miss me.
It seems that my craziness over The Ervin Legend is totally eccentric
-I'm seeing him everywhere and all the time.
I'm inlove with the idea of loving him.
Tuvmah!
Yesterday:
I was looking for The Ervin Legend when I arrived in the office,
he was not in his station.
The team was advised to seat on the last row,
and The Ervin Legend was sitting next to my station.
He's on the phone with someone I don't care who,
I was all knee-knocked off.
Today:
I can no longer help myself drooling over this man.
Our eyes met in the window pane.
As usual,
he stares at me,
I don't care if he stares at me with anger or what kind of emotion attached on his eyes,
at least he does stare at me,
all the time.
Tomorrow:
It's his restday.
I won't be seeing him for the next 4 days.
Ugh!
He's gonna miss me.
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
Now Drinking
Currently playing: "Turning Japanese" by The Vapors
It was Isa's send-off party last night.
She's leaving for Japan tomorrow for a 3-month company training.
She had a Harajuku party at Diana's house.
They wore Japanese school girl outfits,
high school Japanese school girls' uniform.
Isa called me earlier to check on what I'll be wearing,
I'll be the outsider.
The party went well,
Japanese movies on the screen running on a projector.
Isa did some Japanese songs,
the Mexican and Indonesian housemates took pictures,
Jonathan and I played as the bartender of the night,
and I got drunk.
Isa requested for an Absolut Diva,
she loved it when we concocted one on her birthday.
I declined because it reminds me of the taste of gin-pine,
I served my new concoction instead,
Absolut Prima Donna:
700ml vodka
1 liter concentrated orange juice with sacs
200ml tonic water
(serve on the rocks with cherry)
Tipsy and sexy,
Isa then turned to me breaking some news;
"Dear, Ichi want you to watch his favorite Jap TV Series, Honey and Clover."
I drowned myself to the drinks.
It was Isa's send-off party last night.
She's leaving for Japan tomorrow for a 3-month company training.
She had a Harajuku party at Diana's house.
They wore Japanese school girl outfits,
high school Japanese school girls' uniform.
Isa called me earlier to check on what I'll be wearing,
I'll be the outsider.
The party went well,
Japanese movies on the screen running on a projector.
Isa did some Japanese songs,
the Mexican and Indonesian housemates took pictures,
Jonathan and I played as the bartender of the night,
and I got drunk.
Isa requested for an Absolut Diva,
she loved it when we concocted one on her birthday.
I declined because it reminds me of the taste of gin-pine,
I served my new concoction instead,
Absolut Prima Donna:
700ml vodka
1 liter concentrated orange juice with sacs
200ml tonic water
(serve on the rocks with cherry)
Tipsy and sexy,
Isa then turned to me breaking some news;
"Dear, Ichi want you to watch his favorite Jap TV Series, Honey and Clover."
I drowned myself to the drinks.
Saturday, May 10, 2008
Bitching
Currently playing: "Nice to Know You" by Incubus
Greetings:
Happy Mother's Day to the best (who's also best at her worst) Mom in the world,
my Mom!
I love you,
and you know that.
And we both love this love-hate relationship.
Same to my favorite Sister in the world (and the outside world),
Happy Beautiful Mother's Day!
Outlook's back,
thanks God!
It was down for 3 days,
I was also down.
You're emotionally full but you can't just burst your inner feelings.
Your thoughts overflowing,
but it's all nonsense to share it with the sober sovereigns and completely sane mankind.
D'yo get what I'm blabbing?
Nada!
Long case.
I missed my first break again.
I'm furious.
I miss the Company Summer Outing.
I'm left-out.
I miss my friends from the dark,
and they all went to the party.
I'm envious.
I miss an inch of my life.
I'm trying to lift my spirit while working but I can't hide the fact that I'm so mad.
I'm really mad!
I'm hungry.
Maybe,
I'm just hungry.
I just hope that filling up my stomach would difuse my anger.
Ugh!
Greetings:
Happy Mother's Day to the best (who's also best at her worst) Mom in the world,
my Mom!
I love you,
and you know that.
And we both love this love-hate relationship.
Same to my favorite Sister in the world (and the outside world),
Happy Beautiful Mother's Day!
Outlook's back,
thanks God!
It was down for 3 days,
I was also down.
You're emotionally full but you can't just burst your inner feelings.
Your thoughts overflowing,
but it's all nonsense to share it with the sober sovereigns and completely sane mankind.
D'yo get what I'm blabbing?
Nada!
Long case.
I missed my first break again.
I'm furious.
I miss the Company Summer Outing.
I'm left-out.
I miss my friends from the dark,
and they all went to the party.
I'm envious.
I miss an inch of my life.
I'm trying to lift my spirit while working but I can't hide the fact that I'm so mad.
I'm really mad!
I'm hungry.
Maybe,
I'm just hungry.
I just hope that filling up my stomach would difuse my anger.
Ugh!
Whining
Currently playing: "Hell's Kitchen" by Maxim
Fifth day of training and I'm starting to get upset.
If I could only quit,
I would,
right away!
I'm sick and tired.
I'm literally sick and tired.
Aside from how the training goes,
my body's in a state of withdrawal.
I don't know if it's just a withdrawal syndrome;
I stopped taking my food supplements for a week now.
My system is not functioning well ever since I started working on morning shift,
I'm nocturnal.
I am for my entire life.
My mom would attest to this;
I get sleepy and disoriented during the day.
My brain (0.97% braincells) would only function at night,
yes,
I have a brain (0.97% braincells is working)!
And when I was ordered to attend the ACE training my life was changed
-undesirably.
I'm missing my breaks on time.
I'm skipping lunch.
Horrifying zits popping on my face.
Headache won't go away for days now.
My body temperature's always rising,
racing with my blood pressure.
I have been gasping for air.
My heart's beating faster than ever.
And my body suffers at the end of the day.
Physically stressed.
Emotionally depressed.
Mentally abused.
Spiritually oppressed.
The entire training and the mystery behind it is totally upsetting me now.
The pressure in this job which I enjoyed before is starting to run into my nerves.
My body's no longer taking it.
My mind's saying to quit.
My heart's no longer saying "I love my job".
I really want to quit.
I almost figured out why I'm here.
And my concluson is not really pleasant.
The next thing I know,
my self-esteem's in the garbage can.
I turned out to be worser than ever.
The training makes me paranoid.
The long "avail time" freaks me out.
The normal life as a laborer is panicking.
I need a therapist!
I'm going crazy.
Fifth day of training and I'm starting to get upset.
If I could only quit,
I would,
right away!
I'm sick and tired.
I'm literally sick and tired.
Aside from how the training goes,
my body's in a state of withdrawal.
I don't know if it's just a withdrawal syndrome;
I stopped taking my food supplements for a week now.
My system is not functioning well ever since I started working on morning shift,
I'm nocturnal.
I am for my entire life.
My mom would attest to this;
I get sleepy and disoriented during the day.
My brain (0.97% braincells) would only function at night,
yes,
I have a brain (0.97% braincells is working)!
And when I was ordered to attend the ACE training my life was changed
-undesirably.
I'm missing my breaks on time.
I'm skipping lunch.
Horrifying zits popping on my face.
Headache won't go away for days now.
My body temperature's always rising,
racing with my blood pressure.
I have been gasping for air.
My heart's beating faster than ever.
And my body suffers at the end of the day.
Physically stressed.
Emotionally depressed.
Mentally abused.
Spiritually oppressed.
The entire training and the mystery behind it is totally upsetting me now.
The pressure in this job which I enjoyed before is starting to run into my nerves.
My body's no longer taking it.
My mind's saying to quit.
My heart's no longer saying "I love my job".
I really want to quit.
I almost figured out why I'm here.
And my concluson is not really pleasant.
The next thing I know,
my self-esteem's in the garbage can.
I turned out to be worser than ever.
The training makes me paranoid.
The long "avail time" freaks me out.
The normal life as a laborer is panicking.
I need a therapist!
I'm going crazy.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)